Embassy of the Republic of the Congo (1)
Ah, seeing Chloe walk around and attend a frat party at a corner rowhouse just instantly brings to mind what DC streets are like at the end of summer, or in the fall (which in my opinion is DC at its prettiest.) It’s a small, walkable city with a lot of nightlife. I spent a lot of my nights walking to/from various bars, restaurants, and when I was younger, nightclubs. While many people have been to DC as part of a 8th grade trip, I can assure you that living here is radically different than just visiting here. Much like I was sort of “meh” about the beach when I lived in LA, I often don’t even see the main tourist attractions anymore: the Lincoln Memorial is just a place I run by, the Washington Monument is just a good way of orienting which direction you’re standing in. Funny thing about COVID, I’ve spent a ridiculous among of time walking around and looking at architecture, and yes, returning for a close look at the Lincoln. (I went there a lot in my 20s, but this time around found myself reading the speeches engraved on the inside walls, all around the time of mass protests in DC about racial equality. His second inaugural address—delivered a month and change before his assassination—contains this historical dunk:)
Anyhow, here are some weird aspects of living in DC you might not know about if your only experience has been an 8th grade trip where you took a chartered bus but you got your period and it was a nightmare.
Diplomats And embassies
You sort of forget about it if you live here, and take it for granted that there are going to be nice cars with diplomatic plates parked terribly who are going to get away with it. There are almost two hundred embassies in Washington DC. Some are in what look like lovely old mansions, some in DC’s . . . interesting brutalist architecture, and then there’s Canada, my favorite embassy, which used to be right next to the Newseum, which is unfortunately moving.
Embassy of Canada (2)
When you walk into an embassy, you are considered in the sovereign territory of that country. Embassies regularly have interesting cultural events, and more importantly, are known for giving out good Halloween candy.
2. lack of sovereignty
It’s mentioned a couple times in NSMC and it’s probably hard to understand for people who don’t live here, but basically we do not have local sovereignty. DC is not a state— it is a “federal enclave” which means there are things that voters in say, Kansas, could do that we could not do here. For example, voters here vote for one particular thing. What basically happens is that Congress could then prevent that thing from happening just because legally they can, even though that particular member of Congress represents constituents from a different state. Not surprisingly, this has happened with hot-button issues: abortion, gun control, and the legalization of marijuana. Regardless of how you feel about those particular political issues, as a resident here it’s frustrating because our votes basically get thrown in the garbage because it’s an easy way for politicians to score points back home.. or so they think. Occasionally you come across a story where a reporter mentions that this is a thing to someone living in another state and they say, wait, what? That isn’t fair. In fact, there are organizations in other states standing up for us. (yay Iowa!)
I am pro-DC statehood- although I don’t really care what form that takes. Do I think it needs to literally be another star added to the American flag and what not—who cares, but we would like to have taxation WITH representation and to have our vote counts. Hence our state license plate:
The population of DC is about 700,000. In 2014, we paid about 26,000,000,000 in federal taxes, which is more than the states of Kansas, Nebraska, Alabama, Iowa, South Carolina, Delaware, Utah, Nevada, Rhode Island, New Hampshire, Mississippi, Idaho, New Mexico, Hawaii, North Dakota, Maine, West Virginia, South Dakota, Alaska, Montana, Wyoming, and Vermont. Our population is in the ballpark of Alaska’s and North Dakota’s, and is actually larger than the population of Vermont and Wyoming. In terms of political representation, you probably know that each state gets two senators— DC does not have a senator. But never fear, we do have a Congresswoman in the House of Representatives: Eleanor Holmes Norton, who in 2018 was the member of Congress who introduced the most number of bills, and cosponsored the most number of bills (this is typical of her). But what you may not know is that as part of the House of Representatives, Holmes Norton cannot vote on final bills, but can vote in Congressional committees—but only if Democrats are in charge of the House. (That’s not a legal quirk—it’s a political quirk. The House votes on whether or not DC gets to vote. When Republicans control the house, they vote to have that right to vote taken away.)
However, there are some Republicans who are in favor of DC statehood, and the movement is gaining some political steam, particularly after the protests which took place in 2020, and then the January 6th attack, and people saw a little about how we have to put up with a lot of shit and don’t even have real budget autonomy in return.
3. Motorcades
I’ve gotten so used to these that I don’t even realize how bizarre they are to experience. There’s Presidential and Vice Presidential motorcades and then there are often police escorts that people mistake for a motorcade. Typically what happens is, you’re innocently driving somewhere and you start hearing sirens in the distance. Police cars or motorcycles will abruptly show up and block off multiple streets at the same time. Then you wait and there are more sirens, then they are a bunch of police cars, police motorcycles, and then a series of anonymous looking black sedans (armored cars) with flashing lights and windows tinted black (you can’t really tell who’s inside.) This can really create a traffic situation if it’s rush hour, but sometimes it’s there and gone so quickly. This is radically different than the motorcade you’d see during Inauguration. You also see Marine One a lot of you live here (this is the helicopter equivalent to Air Force One). I have not personally seen Air Force One flying anywhere (although I have spotted presidential dogs before!)
4. Museums are free
Or at least, museums that are part of the Smithsonian Institution are (these are the ones along the main strip of the National Mall.) There’s only a couple paid museums in DC worth seeing and all the rest are free. It spoils you for when you travel to other cities. My favorite is the Natural History Museum (particularly the gem room) and Modern Art.
5. The city is divided into four quadrants
Maybe everyone knows this, but just to go over some basic geography.. DC is a small city divided into four quadrants, NE, SE, SW, and NW, with the US Capitol marking the dead center. The strip of green you see along the X axis is the National Mall (which has nothing to do with shopping). Along there you’ll find the Smithsonian museums, the Washington Monument, and the Lincoln Memorial at the far end. NE and SE are heavily residential. SW is partially made up of the Potomac River and used to be known for its fish market, but just before the 2008 market crash, developers started a massive project to develop it into The Wharf. This got put on hold for a while, but The Wharf now exists.. a sort of Disney-like prefab-seeming area with a boardwalk, overpriced apartments, and some restaurants. The NW area dotted in red below is “downtown” where there are large office buildings and a lot of federal buildings—above that part it starts to get residential. (Where the fictional John Adams University is is just north of where it says “Mt Vernon Square” on the map.) If you’re wondering what all these red dots are.. I’m writing this one 1/16/21, or at least the first draft of this post, a few days before Joe Biden’s inauguration, and a few days after the assault on the Capitol and the attempted coup which left (at least) five dead. People often use the word “DC” or “Washington” as a stand-in for “government fat-cats who don’t understand the common man” and maybe don’t think about the fact that people actually live here. The red dots are all the street closures in preparation for Inauguration but more so in preparation for the threats of additional violence that various government agencies have warned of. I just went for a long walk over there and it seemed like the amount of security was a the same level or higher than it was the day of the 9/11 attacks.
Wow… I didn’t mean to end on a dark note.. It’s just been a really rough week for everyone (at the time of writing this post). And I am posting this on the 20th anniversary of 9/11, a day which really changed me as a person, my outlook on life, and the direction of my career. It is also, weirdly the day that we are officially celebrating the launch of my book, which feels like a small thing in the midst of so many bad things happening at once. I moved to NYC after 9/11, then to California for a while, but I always wanted to come back here because it’s the one that most feels like home to me. I love how there’s the constant variety of things to do—theater, live music, craft shows, things to eat (there is a constantly evolving restaurant scene), people to meet. It’s large enough to be a city, but small enough that you can bump into people you know in random places. I wanted to write a book that took place here because I love it here, despite all the city’s faults, but I really wanted to write a book that took place in DC and specifically wasn’t a political thriller. I hope you can see that it’s a city that is so much more than just the White House.
Photo credits: 1: AgnosticPreachersKid - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=9696983. 2: Brunswyk - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=20358058